Famous Nigerian relationship expert and pastor Kingsley Okonkwo caused a lot of anger on social media after sharing his thoughts on how women should approach relationships.
His statement has since gone viral, and Nigerians have differing opinions on it. Many strongly disagree, while others completely agree.
After a screenshot of the verified post surfaced on social media, the pastor’s counsel to women to be more open to people who really show interest in them rather of focusing just on their preferences gained popularity.
According to Kingsley Okonkwo, “as a lady, you don’t choose who you want, you choose from who wants you.”
So start answering those calls, chats, and direct messages.
Advice about relationships divides social media users
After the essay quickly gained popularity on many platforms, many individuals argued whether the advice mirrored the realities of modern dating or reinforced outdated relationship ideals.
Some respondents argued that women should never feel under pressure to accept approaches from folks they are not attracted to, while others contended that a healthy relationship should always be built on mutual interest.
The topic also sparked debates about dating standards, compatibility and the value of blending personal preferences with actual affection from a future partner.
Nigerians have conflicting opinions.
As the post went viral, social media users flooded comment sections with opposing views.
Supporters described the advice as sensible, pointing out that partnerships often thrive when both parties are really interested in one another.
Critics countered that everyone has the option to choose a companion based on personal preference rather than just picking from those who express interest.
In the continuing internet debate, many Nigerians are using their personal experiences to support their views on dating, relationships, and choosing a life partner.
- As a women you don’t choose who you want , you choose from who wants you
Thus, begin responding to direct messages, replying to conversations, and returning calls.
— Kingsley Okonkwo (@kingsleypst) July 2, 2026